I was under an attack…
Hello, wonderful people!
I am taking a one week break from the 1 John study. We will get back to it next week. This past week I have had something happen that I felt like I needed to share. I have been under an attack. The devil decided to have some fun with torching me through my mind. He knows that can work really well or really bad. It came like a tornado and hit with a brutal force. There were two main attacks, and I will go into detail on both of them. First, you must also understand I am not the person that believes in coincidentes of any kind. Everything comes from a divine creator. I believe that everything, even when you see an entire row of red cars in one parking lot, happens through a divine thing. Maybe it is not necessarily of any obvious effect, but I do believe God does some things for our amusement and pleasure in life.
Mainy this was two days this past week, but two days is more then enough. My mind was betraying me. Maybe it is just me, but have you ever noticed when your head is trying to tell you one thing but your heart is saying another. Specifically in this instance when you know that God is speaking through your heart, but your mind is basing it on logic. That is what was happening to me. Twice. It sucked. Trust me.
The first attack was the worst. I was talking to my best friend. Our friendship is so different then most. The two of us connect on a spiritual level. God gave me this friend, Matthias, for a reason. The friendship has had its ups and downs, but we really try to keep God at the center. At 8:30 a few nights ago, the devil whispered, “Get out of this friendship.”
That scared me because at first I had absolutely no clue who was talking. It was a powerful voice in my mind. It just kept saying that phrase (or similar ones). “Leave”, “what is the point?”, “this is just a waste of time.”. I was really trying to figure out if God was saying this, or if it was the devil? Or maybe it was perhaps just me.
My heart cried out to God. I pleaded in helpless tears to give me an answer. I asked God for some kind of way I could know if this was him talking. I told God to make it an obvious one whatever it may be because I was so lost. I felt abandoned, and I felt lonely. I have learned from several instances, God does not leave his children hanging — never. It was within ten minutes God answered me. It was so weird. I had prayed through the armor of God. I asked him for my belt of truth, sandals of the gospel of peace, helmet of salvation, sheild of faith, breastplate of righteousness, and for the sword of the spirit. He answered me shortly after that. Out of the blue, I recieved a text message from Matthais, long after I had stopped talking to him for the day. It was short, but simply said. “I am praying for you, and you need to know that I will always be there for you.” That was the last I had heard from him that night.
Do not get me wrong, even after this my mind was still doubting the truth, but I knew from something that is almost inexplainable, it comes from a small voice, that it was the truth.
This attack came the very next day, actually same time of night. Only this time the devil decided to attack from within. I think as girls, or just people in general, sometimes we just look in the mirror and criticize ourselves. Personally, I think it is healthy to occasionally look in the mirror and realize your worth and just how beautiful you are. Well, the other night I was not feeling it.
I am not a large person. I actually am very muscular, but I do not have a tight core. I look normal — healthy and normal. The other night though, I just looked in the mirror and started criticizing myself. I was telling myself I needed to eat less, be more active, and that the “rolls” of fat were just not beautiful. The devil was tempting me to lie to myself, and I fell into the trap.
**pardon the momentary yelling to the devil**
I DO NOT HAVE ROLLS OF FAT, DEVIL! I AM A BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER TO THE KING! I AM HEALTHY, AND I AM ACTIVE . THE WAY I AM IS PERFECTLY FINE!
**back to the post**
I just got mad at that point, and I lost it. God became the person I was clinging to. You have to understand that I am still recovering in a way. Slowly, I am having even more faith then I did before in God, but I am learning a new lesson.
God is peace.
Now looking back on the recent days, I am realizing that God is peace. He only comes in peace. He is a caring God, and let’s say that had been the truth about Matthias (taking a break or backing away from the friendship), it would have come in a peaceful way.
Philippians 4:7 NIV “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
God is peace. He comes only in peace. I know that my Father will always, always do what I need. He will be the only one to give me purpose, and with him in the lead, all descions will come in peace.
1 Peter 5:7 NIV “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
He cares so much for me. He cares so much for you. God did not leave me. He never will. He also is never going to leave you. I have learned so much in the past few months about trusting God. I know I am doing something right because things keep aligning. Trust him. He will align your path with his.
Rethink trusting this week,